Written by K.C. Bell
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Monday, 30 March 2009

image for George W. Bush $7 Million Autobiography Completed
$7 million for a book...that's one mission accomplished!

Much to the amazement of the literary world and the public at large, the one thousand page George W. Bush autobiography has been completed ahead of schedule. With several working titles, the former President settled on: The Audacity Of My Success! As well as the last sentence, the book title will also carry an exclamation mark.

Aware that he was unfamiliar with the use of computers, (remember the internet-s?) it was assumed Mr. Bush would take pen to paper to write his manuscript. However, leaked from an undisclosed location, (still steaming because Bush didn't pardon assistant, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby) the President collaborated with one hundred Spoof writers who each wrote ten pages, or one thousand Spoof writers who each wrote one page.

This is considered a possibility, as the book does not follow any sequential order, resembling more a Fellini movie or a very large platter of scrambled eggs. Similar to the warnings from Osama bin Laden before 9/11, there is difficulty connecting the dots for the plot of, The Audacity Of My Success!. However, this cannot be blamed on the hard nut Spoof writers, but rather on the editorial process.

The Presidential selection by the Supreme Court was not mentioned. Instead, the Florida recount never happened and Bush won by an overwhelming majority. The seven and a half minute sit-down after being told the World Trade Center had been struck by planes was skipped. Instead, Mr. Bush was described as springing to his feet and taking action against the terrorists, who he could immediately identify by last name.

Hurricane Katrina was reduced to a footnote, reinstated as an entire chapter by editor number five, footnoted again, pasted in by editor number fourteen, but finally completely deleted by editor number eighteen, who was assured of doing a great job. At the completion of the editorial process, editors number sixteen and seventeen headed directly to the Betty Ford Clinic - by train.

Polishing off, The Audacity Of My Success!, Mr. Bush plans to include a few words for the back jacket written by Keith Olbermann and Al Gore.

One back-end blurb has already been submitted from an undisclosed location.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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