Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 30 March 2009

image for Madonna Says She Finds OctuMom Sexy As Hell
Mattel has just announced its new Madonna Baby Doll, it cusses, pouts, and hates MP3 downloads

NEW YORK CITY - Madonna fresh from divorcing Guy Ritchie and dating A-Rod, and a teenage Brazilian male model revealed to ABC's Barbara Walters that she finds OctuMom positively sexy.

Madonna said that the mother of 14 has the most sensuously erotic lips since Lisa Rinna, Daryl Hannah, and Goldie Hawn.

When told that OctuMom has seen her movie Evita a total of 108 times Madonna was overcome with joy and admitted that she has actually fallen head-over-pedicured heels for the astonishing OctuMom.

Madonna told Walters that she is currently in the process of getting adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Madonna's three children will also be moving in with the Brangelina duo and their six children.

The 'Material Girl' said that ever since she first saw photos of OctuMom in The Bellflower (Calif.) Aftershock-Gazette she knew that she wanted to somehow find a way to kiss those lusciously botoxed lips of lascivious lascivity.

Ms. Walter's mentioned to her that OctuMom is infatuated with Angelina Jolie and that she has actually had work done to make herself look more like her screen idol.

Walter's said that OctuMom has had surgery to make her belly button look exactly like Jolie's. She has also had reconstructive surgery done on her tonsils to make them look exactly like her idol's tonsils.

And on a more personal and highly intimate note, OctuMom actually took an explicit photo of Jolie's (blank) and she took it to a plastic surgeon who deals with women's "down there's" and told him that she wants for hers to resemble Jolie's. [WRITER'S NOTE: The world of euphemisms can be a very busy place.]

Madonna confided to Walters that she will be talking to Brad and Angie about the possibility of them also adopting OctuMom and her 14 kids.

The singing siren remarked, "Hey 15 more or 15 less, what's the difference. Brad and Angie don't have a problem with that."

Madonna stated that hopefully within the next few months she plans on recording an album with OctuMom. She then added that she will be looking into the possibility of forming a band with Brad, Angie, and OctuMom.

Brad will play lead guitar, Angie will play the drums, and OctuMom will play the bass guitar and sing backup vocals. And Madonna will be the lead singer.

As far as the band name goes, Madonna is considering taking the first letters from each of their four names and naming the band, OBAM-A*

*The A stands for America.

In other news. Former Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld has just opened up a restaurant in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. The restaurant is called Donnie's Weapons of Mass Destruction Diner.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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