"I liberated the American people from the peace and prosperity of the Clinton regime."
WASHINGTON- At a press meeting in Washington today, President Bush commented on his reign as president to a stunned group of journalists.
"You know... I'm... I'm a jokster," started Bush. "I was always the smart kid on opposite day, the kid who always had one of those fart cushions around when my relatives came to visit."
At this point in the interview, no one was talking or moving.
"You guys oughta know that I'm pulling one on you!" laughed the prez. "I mean, you guys had that Clinton guy, right? I toilet papered his house just the other night! He isn't THAT smart! You know, I'm so glad he's gone; he was making American free and proud! I mean, people were makin' too much dinero! No comprendo muchachos!" laughed Bush.
President Bush also talked about what he plans to do after he wins the next election.
"Well, I would like to invade another country... maybe Monaco." pondered Bush. "I'd like to get Princess Grace back. After that, maybe we can being projects to buy that stairway to heaven that everyone is talking about...."
After the statement, President Bush reportedly left the podium and proceeded to break dance.