Written by Earnest A. Peal
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Friday, 27 March 2009

image for Mayer-Anniston wedding may be a ruse
Sharp words from Alan Keyes about fornication being a holy act between husband and wife piqued Mayer's interest.

Pop crooner John Mayer and perennial love interest Jennifer Anniston were shown exchanging vows in a homemade video posted on YouTube and on Mayer's website Friday. However, Mayer has a history of posting off-the-wall gag videos.

The tongues of Hollywood gossips are visibly salivating at the possibility of another celebrity couple tying the knot, after the high-profile weddings of David Letterman and Harrison Ford.

Yet, telltale clues may give the lie to the story. Anniston's "father" in the video is carrying a shotgun; Anniston wears white; her face is not clearly visible beneath the veil; and the best man has a pitbull on a lead-a possible reference to an earlier gag video Mayer made in which he apologizes for pitbulls ravaging fans at a concert, an event that never actually happened.

Mayer's press rep issued a release saying, "The couple are so happy, they are getting matching tattoos-and John is getting a vasectomy." Anniston's press agency on the other hand seemed confused by the news and could not confirm the report.

Guests shown in the video are Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman, Joaquin Phoenix, P. Diddy and some unidentified crying women thought to be former loves of the groom. The groom's side of the aisle was packed, while the bride's side was sparsely populated with what appeared to be homeless men and bag ladies eating very loud crunchy Doritos chips and very messy cream-filled éclairs.

Mayer posted on his personal blog that the wedding finally occurred after they agreed it would be okay if they both continued seeing other people.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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