Washington, DC - The president plans to have legislation introduced in the house that would eliminate all but one month of the year. That month would be February. Under the legislation February would be 365 days long, with an extra day of February tacked on every four years in case you haven't had enough.
"This legislation will generate billions of dollars in tax revenue each year. By eliminating all the other months with their unnecessary holidays and special events the American people can concentrate on working for nearly fifty two weeks straight with nary a break. More work,more pay,more taxes!"
When told that such a move would eliminate important events like Christmas and the Fourth of July, Mr. Obama tried to make light of the situation before the dis-heartened crowd. "Look", he said, "You'll still have Saint Valentine's Day, President's Day and Groundhog Day. What more could you want?"