Written by Earnest A. Peal
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Thursday, 26 March 2009

image for Disco to be installed in White House basement
Non-stain fabrics will be used for upholstered booths and couches.

WASHINGTON DC--The White House Press Office today confirmed that the one-lane bowling alley where the President bowled like he was in the Special Olympics will be converted to a discotheque with a bar, DJ booth and "dyno-mite" lighting effects.

President Obama, through spokesman Andy Gibbs, denied that he is perturbed about the brouhaha over his insensitive remarks about cripples and retards. Rather, the conversion is related to a larger push to take the nation's collective mind off of the economy and to get people thinking about dancing, sex, mild non-addictive drugs, fast cars, sports and fashion.

"We feel that the economy would be fine if people would relax, take a few tokes, get laid and spend a little money. We really just need some positive thinking. Nothing to fear but fear itself-you know. This is not the time to be bringing everybody down," said Gibbs.

The disco will be open from 10 PM to 2 AM, and there will be a secret passage to a small room called the "Butt Hut". Congressmen and Senators will be welcomed and a code of "What happens here, stays here" will be encouraged. Bootylicious babes from Baltimore area clubs are being sought by talent scouts authorized to spend up to 3 million dollars.

However, adult club dancers, models and others approached have voiced concern over the value of the dollar and have asked to be paid in a basket of leading currencies that would be less susceptible to devaluation.

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