Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Prison, Boy George

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

image for Boy George Forms A Prison Band
London's Petula Clark Prison For Blokes (shown on the right)

LONDON - George Alan O'Dowd, better known as Boy George, lead singer of the 80's band Culture Club has reportedly formed a prison band.

O'Dowd is serving a 15 month prison sentence at London's Petula Clark Prison For Blokes for reportedly handcuffing a pizza delivery man.

Warden Sebastopol "Pickster" Pickens told a reporter for The London Morning Mincer Review that Boy George, (aka #74316869) first approached him about forming the band the day after he was caught trying to escape.

Pickens told B.G. that he would allow him to form the band on one condition, and that was that he would provide the prison population with "Free" concerts. Boy G. agreed to his stipulation.

O'Dowd who is 47, was recently honored by being named as "The Inmate With The Prettiest Lips."

Warden Pickens said that Boy Georgy also receives about 30 love letters a day from fellow inmates. He added that "The Boy" is without a doubt the most popular convict in the history of Pet Clark Prison.

And in fact, he has had to be isolated in his own private cell, which has curtains so that the other prisoners in adjoining cells can't just sit there and ogle him all day.

Assistant Warden Ringo Nagashima disclosed that Boy George is not really receiving any special treatement except for the fact that he does have his own hairdresser, Mr. Ooh La La, who comes in on Mondays and Fridays.

B. George's cell is also equipped with a big screen TV, a microwave oven, a small refrigerator, a deluxe 12-bulb Revlon makeup mirror, and a condom dispenser.

Nagashima said that a few weeks ago, Boy George first approached him about the possibility of turning the idea of forming a prison band into a reality show called "Literally Making The Band."

But he remarked that The Great United Kingdom Penal Practices Committee shot that idea down.

So Boy George took it upon himself to hold auditions in the prison cafeteria. And after a two week audition process he has picked his new bandmates.

The lead guitar player will be Ethan "Crazy Mate" Pickford (#74316060) who is serving a ten-year sentence for robbing a Fish & Chips To Go Outlet.

The bass guitarist will be Chet "Dangling Participle" Custer (#74316111) who is serving a seven-year sentence for plagarism.

And the drummer is Woody "Molotov Cocktail" Proctormill (#74310109) who is serving a 99-year sentence for bombing the Norwegian aircraft carrier the NS Fiord Frolicker while it was anchored in Scarborough.

The band's manager will be Tamtam Nagashima, the stunningly beautiful wife of Assistant Warden Ringo Nagashima.

Boy George stated that the band's name will be "Boy George And The Uncultured Club."

Tamtam Nagashima has revealed that their first concert will be held on Saturday, April, 18 out in the prison courtyard.

That concert will be followed by weekly concerts in the prison cafeteria, the prison indoor basketball court, and the prison's newly built 4,000 seat Ex-President George and Laura Bush Music Auditorium.

Mrs. Nagashima said that after each concert Boy George will personally be autographing black and white striped 'I'm A Member of The Boy George And The Uncultured Club's Captive Audience' T-Shirts. The T-Shirts will sell for $19 each or 10 for $189.

All funds will go directly to The Warden Pickens & Assistant Warden Nagashima Christmas Bonus Fund.

In a related story. Warden Pickens wants to dispel the vicious rumor that Boy George has gotten a tramp stamp tattoo on his lower back that reads: The Pickster Rocks!.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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