Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 24 March 2009

image for Amy Winehouse To Portray Ann Coulter
Ann Coulter shown at a Tacos 'R' Us Restaurant in Philadelphia

HOLLYWOOD - Producers of the Warner Brothers motion picture Ann Coulter - The Wicked Witch of The Yeast have signed Amy Winehouse to play the lead.

They said that the resemblance is amazing. Both women are 6 foot 3, both weigh 87 pounds, and neither one can sing.

The film's executive producer Chubasco Prentiss was asked about the fact that Ms. Winehouse's body is covered with 134 tattoos.

Prentiss replied that she actually only has 130, but who the hell is counting. He said that they will be using a special type of medicinal salve, much like they use on wounded African elephants, to cover up the tattoos.

When told that Coulter does not have a British accent, Prentiss replied, "And your point is what?"

Told that it would sound kind of funny hearing the GOP princess speaking with an English accent, Prentiss responded by saying that he had once seen Chris Rock portray Paul McCartney and Chris sounded about as English as Salma Hayek.

Prentiss disclosed that Sean Hannity, Meghan McCain, Hugo Chavez, Tony Parker, Maroon Five, and Tatiana Del Toro will each be portraying themselves.

The film is based on the book Leaning On Coulter's Shoulders by Dominique Adelle Windmill who was actually Ann Coulter's babysitter from the time Ann was two months old until she was 15-years-old.

In related news. Amy Winehouse's manager, Concertina Pewterbock said that Winehouse is being considered for the leading role of Pee Lee Chan in the movie The Chopstick Queen of Abilene.

According to The Goodness Book of Records, Miss Chan owns the largest chopstick collection in the entire world. At last count it numbered 1,718,439.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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