Written by Atticus Finch
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Topics: Bacon

Monday, 23 March 2009

image for Kevin's Bacon Bankrupt
That's All He Has

It's a rags to rags story that has left America stunned - one of it's greatest icons has admitted that he is bankrupt due to the recession that is gripping the world like a clenched fist around a teenage boys erect penis before his first wank.

Kevin Mullholland - owner of New York Diner/Breakfast Bar Kevin's Bacon says he is bust!

"It's a sad day when Kevin's Bacon closes it's doors and stops selling pancakes and waffles" said regular Keith Sutherland, who has known Kevin for years - albeit through seven degrees of separation.

"He used to be footloose, now he just feels hollow man" said another former regular "All he needed was a few good men to eat there more often!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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