Written by matwil
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Monday, 23 March 2009

image for 'Americans aren't dumb', shock claim
'We're not dumb, we lose wars for the British!'

A scientist in Berlin today made the shock claim that Americans aren't dumb.

'Let's look at the evidence', Professor Heinrich Buschvoterr said, from his laboratory in the Berlin suburb of Wedding. 'The Moon landings, for instance. Adults around the world didn't believe they happened before they even were supposed to happen, except in America.'

'Iraq and Afghanistan, two British colonies that Americans are dying in to prove how 'independent' they are from Britain. And of course George W Bush, the moron's moron, actually elected head of state not just once but twice by the USA. So, er, Americans aren't dumb.'

But from California, a Spanish New World colony near Mexico, a certain Ronald Reagan had this to say. 'I have this to say', he said, 'where am I, and why are Americans dying in British colonies, and being laughed at? And why is America still ruled by a handful of British descendants, that do what London - or occasionally Paris, when the Far East needs cannon fodder - say? Heck if I know, Nancy.'

The lack of dumbness of Americans comes as no surprise to Europeans, who have never conned them into fighting two World Wars for them, and have never conned thousands of their soldiers into fighting for their oil and opium in the Middle East, but it came as a surprise to one American housewife, Mrs Maria Vanderklingero'dummi.

'It sure comes as a surprize', she said, between eating eighteen cheeseburgers and two tons of fries, 'so I am sure surpized. What's for dinner?' Less as we don't get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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