Written by Harry Porter
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Topics: independence

Thursday, 24 June 2004

image for Independence Air opens up the world for just $100
God-forsaken places are cheaper than ever before

Independence Air, the nation's newest discount airline, has revealed ambitious plans to expand and offer flights to "places you never thought you'd want to go".

For just a cool $100, the low-cost carrier serving Portland, is hoping to target the Falkland Islands, Afghanistan, Chechnya, Iran and France.

"Our Dulles hub is opening up the world," said a spokesman. "We hope to offer vacation destinations that people would never have thought of before.

"These places have everything from snow, to sunshine, to surliness to sub-machineguns.

"They offer the ideal break for something totally different."

Initial enquiries have hit a new high as families try to escape the mundane for adventure and insults.

Independence Air, modelled after other successful low-cost carriers like Southwest Airlines and Jet Blue, has now torn a leaf out of the books of the UK's EasyJet and Ryanair that pride themselves on offering cheap flights to airfields in the "back of beyond" with nothing to do or see.

Within the past seven years, 75 per cent of their passengers have confirmed they have had a vacation in a location they can't remember but "at least it was cheap".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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