Scientists have discovered that black holes, those mysterious, dark spots in the universe that suck everything around them into themselves, have been discovered closer to the earth than suspected.
One particularly dangerous one called AIG has been seen pulling enormous amounts of money into itself that seems to disappear never to be seen again. It appears to take and take without any regard of the danger to anything or anyone around it.
More black holes are appearing around the earth lately, especially in the proximity of first world nations. Other major holes have developed named Fannie Mae, Ford, General Motors, Chrysler, Freddie Mac, the Bush Administration and the entire island of Iceland. Government officials are trying to calm public fears, which worked until a few of them were themselves pulled into one.
Meanwhile, a gigantic sucking sound has been heard off the coast of California.