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Topics: FDA

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

image for FDA to Eliminate Dr. Avenida Madison's Diseases

Washington DC: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) will be getting a new boss, once Congress approves his nomination. There is a real serious issue that needs to be dealt with following the resolution of the tainted peanut butter, foreign food labeling and vitamin supplement crises.

New FDA regulations are needed to prevent Dr. Avenida Madison's diseases and their cures from being displayed on the TV screens of millions of American citizens during the dinner hour.

US tax dollars would be put to good use by elimination of testimonials about pills, creams, ointments, sprays and pads that supposedly enhance, prevent or control the following maladies: LDS (Limp Dick Syndrome), RPA (Restless Penis Activity), TVI (Tickling Vagina Itch), DDD (Devilish Diarrhea Discharge, SAS (Smelly Armpit Sweat) and MLD (Mama's Lactate Drip).

If this FDA effort fails, millions of American citizens are urged to petition the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) for a fairness doctrine. This new FCC rule would mandate that all members of Congress must watch these TV advertisements during lunch at the US Capital.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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