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Topics: Monster

Monday, 16 March 2009

image for Ten-Foot Tall Creature Spotted Near Green Booger River
1900 Booger Green River At Blue Stage Before Ten Million Yellow Whizzes

It has come to the attention of the Boogertown Banner that there is an unknown 10 foot tall creature lurking down by the Green Booger River.

Former marina owner Roger Willco Evans who asked not to be quoted stated, "Yeah, the thing scared me so bad I filled my pants and it ran down my leg and filled one sock."

It seems this creature is what the "Green Booger River" Indians once called the "Holy Shit, Was Is That Thing"!, a literal translation of their gibberish.

Yes, Banner readers it is very tall and very hairy and horny with three foot antlers. Also, it's breath alone is enough to kill. As a warning, do not approach this creature because it's blood-curdling scream is blood curdling and will cause your blood to curdle and you'll die a hideous death from curdled blood.

It has been heard as far away as Dinglebury On Pubic where their blood only went bad which could cause them to have delinquent idiot children for generations, or even more of them than they do now.

The last time it was seen this hairy thing was on the road to Hadley, a town made famous by an old Bob Hope, Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour movie.

If you see this creature in your neighborhood either call the "Humane Society" or your local police. Just think, it could very well be related to legendary John "Woolybooger"
Cardwell of the 1800's.

Cardwell who was said to eat three small people over there in a single day back in 1867, a record for nearly 150 years although Eunice Milam came close in 1968.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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