LOS ANGELES, CA - Madonna is suing the Vajayjay Bikini Waxing Salon claiming that her botched Brazilian waxing has caused so much pain and suffering, she may have to go back to A-Roid.
According to the complaint, Madonna requested a Brazilian waxing with the landing strip the size and color of the Tetro Sphinx caterpillar found in Brazil. The waxing was specific, because "it was to be a surprise" for 22 year old homesick Brazilian boy toy, Jesus Pinto da Luz. The complaint says, what she got, was a Joseph Stalin landing strip. "When I saw that bushy gray landing strip, I knew the pain and suffering for Jesus, not to mention the humiliation to me, could very well cause our breakup," said the tearful 50 year old Material Girl.
Barbara Billingsley, owner of Vajayjay Bikini Waxing Salon, disputes the claim, "One woman's moustache is another man's landing strip. We have never had any complaints about our waxing, whether, it is our Meryl Streep, 'Out of Africa', our Paris Hilton, 'Field of Dreams', or even the George Michael 'Ratatouille', which incidentally, comes with a CD Wham! Box set."
When asked to comment, Guy Ritchie the former husband of Madonna remarked, "I always fot Madge's bojingo looked like something from ZZ Top, but to be honest, it's been a number of years since I've actually seen it, I mean that's one of the reasons we divorced, innit?"
Judge Theodore Cleaver has asked for photos of Joseph Stalin, ZZ Top band members, the Tetro Sphinx caterpillar and Madonna's mons veneris.