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Friday, 13 March 2009

image for Supermarket Chain to Implement Presidential Policies
"Baloney"

Toledo OH: Joanne Viden CEO of Mad Mart Inc (MMI), one of the largest supermarket chains in North America, made a startling announcement today. She said "MMI, as its patriot duty, is going to implement a limited version of President Obama's Wealth Redistribution and Cap and Trade Policies."

All of MMI's Supermarket Deli Counters will be selling Bologna, Salami and Prosciutto Ham at their regular price per pound. (Bologna is the least expensive and Prosciutto Ham is the most expensive meat product.) Customers will be limited to purchase only 1 lb of each of these deli meats at one time, with a maximum limit of 2 lbs per week.

A barter checkout area will be set up in each store. A person who purchased one pound packages of Bologna, Salami and/or Prosciutto Ham, but has a passion for more Bologna can find a trading partner. Thus, not exceeding the 2 lb limit, a trade of Prosciutto Ham for more Bologna can be made. (MMI will be happy to package your order in ½ lb packages to avoid local Board of Health restrictions on food handling.)

The person who receives the Prosciutto Ham for Bologna (or Salami) is certainly getting the better of the trade and in essence wealth redistribution has transpired. MMI accepts no liability in these after market transactions and readily admits that further process refinements may be necessary.

A WWII veteran remarked "this reminds me of the days of rationing in 1943 and is a bunch of Baloney."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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