Teen idol Miley Cyrus today became the unwitting victim of a High School shooter during a PR visit to Drunckenpratz High School in One-eye Kentucky
Things were by all accounts going smoothly until the arrival of disenfranchised former student Howard Gingrich. An eyewitness takes up the story:
"Everything was just so cool, and Miley was hamming it up and striking poses when this guy burst into the room. He was wearing pink military fatigues and a pink greatcoat. I'll never forget his lime green socks to my dying day. They were sooo just not correct attire."
"Get on with it," we urged.
"Okay, all right , already. This guy had this HUUUUGE water pistol, and a kind of zoned out look in his eyes. He just started firing the, uh, like WATER PISTOL in all directions. Kind of, um indiscriminately. There was sheer panic."
Miley Cyrus, several tutors, and dozens of pupils scattered for cover as the water pistol wielding maniac vented his fury on the gathering, aiming precision jets of cold water at unwitting targets.
The drama ended when the gunman ran out of water and surrendered to his mother, who threatened to ground him for a month.
Miley Cyrus was unhurt, but a bit wet.
Happily, nobody died or got sick or anything.
Counsellors were rushing to the scene to comfort hysterical students.
More as we get it.