Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Mexico, spring break

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

image for Mexico Cancels Spring Break
The Tacos 'R' Us house specialty, The El Mucho Grande Hijo De La Tacotatotona

MEXICO CITY - The Mexican Senate has voted to cancel this year's spring break. They said that they are taking the measure because of the sorry state of the American economy.

Senator Alfredo Refried-Valdez of the state of Yucatan said, "With America's economy going into the dumpster, we feel that any U.S. college students who come down to Mexico will have very little money, if any at all.

So basically what we are afraid of is that instead of patronizing nice Mexican restaurants like Tacos 'R' Us, Casa Cha Cha Cha Chalupas, and Guacamole Gulch, they will instead go to the much cheaper buffet establishments like The Piles & Piles of Enchiladas, The How Have You Bean Diner, and Long Juan's Tamales."

Governor Timmy Tostada of the Northern Mexican state of Sonora stated, "American male students from colleges and universities such as Grand Canyon State, Albuquerque A&M, John McCain Jr. College, and Greater Tucson Tech, can walk into a buffet restaurant and in cinco (five) minutes flat can literally wipe out the entire buffet tables without batting an oreja (ear)."

Governor Tostada said that this is the first time that they have banned American spring breakers from entering Mexico. He did admit that the loss in U.S. revenue will certainly be in the thousands of dollars.

But he said that they can easily make up the loss within three days by raising the prices of bullfight tickets, pinatas, sombreros, Tequila shots, maracas, Corona Beer, and Eva Longoria-Parker CD's.

In related news: Now that Mexican-born Salma Hayek has married a French billionaire she is seriously considering buying the MBL (Mexican Bullfighting League), the MCL (Mexican Cockfighting League), and the Mexican resort towns of Cancun, Cozumel, Cabo San Lucas, and Acapulco.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: What Governor Tostada and Senator Refried-Valdez also failed to mention is the fact that the Mexican prostitutes who work the red light districts are fit to be tied (maybe that's a wrong way to put it). The Mexican whores are furious.

They say that they stand (lay actually) to lose thousands and thousands of American dollars in entertainment fees.

Socorro Shannon Del Volcano who is the union representative for (WWU) The Working Whores Union, Local #362436 said, "All of the whores are seriously thinking about conducting an on-the-job protest. What we as sexy, sensuous, everyday working girls will do is that we will simply cross our legs and refuse to uncross them for 48 hours".)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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