Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 9 March 2009

image for Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy To Star In The X-Rated "Stimulus Package"
Jenna Jameson's stand-in Tambura Whirlwind

CHICAGO - G-Spot Productions in association with Gladiator Pictures has announced that Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy will star in the X-rated film Stimulus Package.

Blue-eyed blonde Jenna, who has over 125 porn movies to her credit, plays the part of Fifi Carpetburns, a lasciviously lustful woman who applys for a job as a White House intern.

Fifty-five year old Ron Jeremy plays the part of Burton K. Comstock who is the head of the White House Human Resources Department.

Comstock recieves Fifi's email requesting gainful employment. At first he starts to send her the standard rejection notice until he notices the 8 by 10 glossy photo that Fifi included which clearly and explicitly shows her best feature.

Comstock calls her up and schedules an interview. Miss Carpetburns flys in from her hometown of Butte, Montana and spends three days personally interviewing with Mr. Comstock for the job.

Jenna told a reporter for the porn publication, Wet Water that after she read the script she immediately knew that she wanted to make the movie because she would be able to showcase her four best features and get paid three times what she normally makes.

Jenna has won three Academy Awards (Porn Categories) for her movies Lipstick Lesbians of Lower London, The Girls of Phi Beta Labia, and She'll Be Cumming Round The Mountain When She Cums.

Jeremy stated to a reporter for Wet Water that just last month he opened up the first of what he hopes will be many Ron Jeremy Designer Condom Stores.

The king of porn has also won three Academy Awards in the Porn Category. The three films are Jack & Jill & Joan Went Up The Hill, The Real Reasons Snowwhite Dumped The Seven Dwarfs, and Lois Lane Reveals Some Shocking Secrets About Superman.

Jeremy has hinted that this very well may just be his last porn film. He wants to devote himself to his condom store, his NFL football card collection, and his DD tit fetish.

Stimulus Package will have its premier in May, in Poplar Bluff, Missouri at The Crop Rotation Theater.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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