Written by Morse
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Tuesday, 3 March 2009

image for Fast Food Chain Runs out of Fried Chicken: Prompts 911 Calls and ACLU Law Suit
Yes, I Have No McNuggets Today...Comprende?

Ft. Pierce, Fl, / Entitlement Times/Personal Abuse Section - Police responded today to three (3) emergency 911 calls after a customer at a local fast food restaurant had a major McMeltdown when the store ran out of fried chicken, the preferred meal of the aggrieved Obama Supporter.

The caller, female aged 27, whose identity is being withheld as her first name listed phonetically in the Police Report was unpronounceable, and her true identity couldn't be determined with certainty due to a lack of proper ID, including a valid social security number, threw a proper temper tantrum when notified the store was temporarily out of the tempting morsels.

The store promptly offered double her food portion size in any of the mouth watering Happy Meals available in the store, for no additional charge, but the woman would have "none of dat shit" and proceeded to notify the local Police, using the 911 hot line.

After being told twice, that her immediate situation was not an emergency, she continued to protest, calling a third time and telling the dispatcher, that, "absolutely, my fried chicken is an Emergency!"

Police were forced to arrest the woman due to the misuse of the emergency police hot line, creating a nuisance, and leading a parade without a permit.

The woman, seen on TV only a few weeks ago at the Ft. Myers Obama rally, has already received a new toilet, a complete kitchen, a low mileage used car, a debit card, and a weekly stipend from the benevolent Obama Urban Redistribution of Wealth Center, with HQs in Washington, DC, and Chicago, Il.

Local news cameras caught her on tape kicking and screaming as she was forcibly carried to the police van shouting "I want them, I want them...don't tell me I can't have what I want..and I want my fried chicken right, damn, now!"

Police at the detention center said the woman was now entering the first 2 minutes of an avowed hunger strike, was being interviewed by the ACLU, the NAACP, and Chris Matthews, and was awaiting a call from Obama's legal counsel Greg Craig.

Rush Limbaugh, commenting on the situation said, "Some people just can't take "NO" for an answer, even though they won the election."

Limbaugh was promptly served with a subpoena which he called "CHICKENSHIT!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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