Written by Adam Click
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Topics: TV, amish

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

image for Amish Peeved After Monitoring TV Broadcasts
An Amtrak train rolls past the headquarters of AMTRAC, the Amish Organization.

Chicago Il .- The gentle, peace-loving Amish are mightily peeved after discovering that the rest of the world is making fun of them and exploiting their good name. Two Amish gentlemen were walking through Union Station in Chicago when one of them, captivated by the moving pictures in a black box, recognized images of Amish people being ridiculed for their dress and culture.

"Isaiah is younger than I", Michael Yoder explained, "so naturally I have to keep an eye on him so that he does not drift into sinful ways. I tried to warn him about the English and their black magic boxes but he kept staring. Regretfully, he drew me in as well, and then it happened. There came to be images that we recognized as being of our culture. Some of which were done in blasphemous ways. We were shocked and embarrassed. All around us people were laughing and pointing."

When the duo arrived at their settlement in Indiana they discussed what they had seen with their family and friends. Word spread quicker than normal and soon everyone was in an uproar. The result was the formation of a new organization, Amish Mothers Targeting Ridicule And Clich├ęs, or AMTRAC.

AMTRAC will fight to maintain the values and traditions of Amish life. It will expose and decry abuse and ridicule where ever discovered. A feat made all the more difficult because of it's religious ban on electronic media.

"For years everybody made fun of the Amish. I mean, come on! The clothes, the talk, the horses! They're a natural. And we were all safe in the knowledge that they would never catch on so long as they refused to have radios or televisions." explained Amtrak passenger Steve Franks, one of the witnesses to the incident, "Then this Isaiah guy comes along and ruins it. I knew putting TV's in railway stations was a mistake!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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