Written by Dan DiLucchio
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Topics: Sesame street

Tuesday, 22 June 2004

During it's time on the air, Sesame Street has been broadcast to more than 120 million children in 130 nations and three galaxies, making it - according to the Children's Television Workshop, the show's producer-"a really big deal." In the United States, Sesame Street's popularity is staggering; 107.2% of American preschool children from all areas, ethnic groups, and income levels watch the show five times a day or more. "We think that there is a great opportunity for us to add a new teaching dimension to the show," said producer Beverly Lane. "This will be kind of reality TV for kids," she said.

To add this new teaching dimension, a new, regular, Sesame Street Character is being added to the cast. The Muppet, named Weasel, is designed to be a pathetic creature. He constantly lies, and is over-weight (eating at a new McDonald's). The weasel is over-sexed; disloyal; and totally self-possessed. Estranged from his family, he lives alone in the Sesame Street fantasy world. The Weasel takes no responsibility for his own actions and blames the right wing media for creating a conspiracy against him. According to the weasel, the conspiracy is designed to turn all the Muppets against him.

Starting on July 1st, through a simple story line, the Weasel is introduced into the show as the returning past mayor of Sesame Street. The Muppets had shunned him, but with no hint of embarrassment, the Weasel returns to the Street inserting himself in everyone's business.

"The world is full of despicable people and we felt it was time to add one, you know, to show children how the real world works, "said Muppet Ernie in an exclusive interview on 60 Minutes. During the new season, Ernie will become the manager of the McDonald's. In a subplot, Oscar will sue Ernie and McDonalds for his noticeable weight gain.

When asked why they added the new character, directors of the children's show said, "Because we could."

Muppet lawyers insisted on the following disclaimer: This character is fictitious and any resemblance to a past US president who just released a book about his life is coincidental.

Creator Jim Henson has reportedly rolled over in his grave.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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