London - (X-Files Mess): Pentagon hacker Gary McKinnon told reporters today that a massive cosmic eye 'is watching the Obamanable White House Snowman' after losing his legal fight against extradition to the USA.
"That's the classified military secret I accidentally stumbled on," McKinnon claimed as news of the eyewatering Helix nebula image sighting spread like wildfire across the world, "and that's why they want to fry me!
"Sure the Pentagon's spinning the story that it's just a natural cosmic phenomenon trompe l'oeil planetary nebula in the sign of Aquarius," McKinnon added.
"But I don't buy any of this Wide Field Imager shit -and neither do my hacking accomplices, er... professional peers at the La Silla Observatory in the Atacama Desert!"
McKinnon, 69, faces 100 years in a Gitmo slammer after hacking into classified Pentagon files shortly after 9/11.
A White House spokesman said today "WFT?"