In a speech to constituents in Detroit today, President Obama reiterated that the U.S. economy would recover.
Perpetuating comparisons to the Great Depression, Obama said,"Make no mistake, it won't be easy; unemployment will continue to rise, homelessness will increase significantly, And organised crime will continue to prey opportunistically on the hapless.
Hoboes will once more ride the rails from town to town looking for work, or even hope; shanty towns will spring up in industrial cities across this great nation. Men and Women will turn to indescribable lows to survive and prostitution will be the career choice of our college graduates.
Domesticated pets will be bred for food, and puppy ranches will spring up in back yards of the well-to-do.
But make no mistake: We will recover!"
On a more optimistic note, the American Cardboard Company announced today that it is stepping-up production of refrigerator crates, thus creating new jobs, even though refrigerator sales are down; these crates will range from standard boxes to deluxe containers with locks, carpeting and tiny, tiny windows.