Having spent eight years trying to find the door in the Oval Office in the White House, George W Bush decided to write his memoires. In the few weeks since leaving the house, he has finished drawing all the pictures, and Laura Bush has helped with the more complicated words.
"It's a cracking read," said Max Clifford, whom Bush has hired as a publicist in an effort to find a publisher.
"It's awful, truly awful," said Buck Reader, of Random House in New York. "You expect certain things in a memoir, such as a sequence of events about the writer. Not a story about George the Giraffe and his war on terriers. The pictures are not even good enough for a kids book."
So far Bush has submitted his 'memoires' to fifteen publishing houses, and is now the proud owner of twelve rejection slips and two postcards with the words: "HA HA HA" written on them.
"George has not given up," said Clifford. "There's another fifty publishers to try, plus numerous vanity possibilities. Let's face it, he's loaded enough to take that route. If I can find a publisher for Budgie the Helicopter, I can find a publisher for George the Giraffe."