Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: KKK, lawsuits, NBA

Monday, 23 February 2009

image for The KKK To Sue The NBA
The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea marching in downtown Harlem

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea (aka The KKK) have hired the famed Mississippi delta law firm of Trumble, Smokefield, Doe, Nitmaker, and Groutwater to sue the National Basketball Association.

The KKK claims that the NBA team known as the Washington Wizards is illegally using the name "Wizards."

They state that it is a direct infringement on their creative rights granted to them by the United States Library of Congress Name Registration Entity.

The Grand Dragon of the Bougainvillea chapter, Roscoe "Chicken Fingers" Thibodeaux IV, said that he is appalled and outraged at the utter disregard for the legal rights of his law abiding organization.

He goes on to state that the name "Wizard" has been legally registered, copyrighted, and patented by his group.

Attorney Billy "Bubba" Nitmaker said that everyone south of the Mason-Dixon line knows that there are names that belong exclusively to the KKK.

Names such as hood, robe, Bubba, pick-up truck, the letters KKK, beer, dragon, shucks, bird dog, cornbread, GED, the letter X, and wizard.

A spokesman for the National Basketball Association, Doogan "Double Dribble" Foxfurst stated that the KKK has no basis for their claim since the team name "Wizard" was taken from the nationally known product, Wizard Air Freshner.

Foxfurst went on to say that he has documented proof that the NBA and the Washington Nationals made a binding agreement and that the NBA paid the makers and owners of Wizard Air Freshner a sum of $413,915 for the rights to use the name "Wizard" for 20 years beginning in 1995.

Nitmaker said that if the NBA does not force the Washington Wizards to change their name that the KKK will start holding protest rallies in front of the Verizon Center on game day in full KKK gear including white robes, white hoods, white Converse tennis shoes, and white boxer shorts.

Nitmaker went on to say that the NBA is not fooling anyone because he happens to know what the N in NBA stands for and he said it isn't National.

Meanwhile, Miami Heat's Shaquille O'Neal has gotten wind of the lawsuit and he says that he knows where Roscoe "Chicken Fingers" Thibodeaux lives and he plans to pay him a visit and discuss this little misunderstanding, in an orderly, civilized man-to-man way.

In related news. In an unusual move a spokesperson for the KKK has announced that his organizaton is moving into the marketing and sales department.

Beginning in May, grocery stores throughout the south will begin carrying a food product manufactured exclusively by the Ku Klux Klan. The name of the item is KKKayso (Queso- Cheese).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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