Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Clint Eastwood

Monday, 23 February 2009

image for Clint Eastwood To Star In The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, And The Slow
Silver Slippers, the stunt horse that Clint Eastwood rides in his latest "Oater"

SAN FRANCISCO - Actor, producer, director, and Hollywood icon, Clint Eastwood will begin filming his next movie, a western in mid March.

The film, a sequel to his 1966 hit is entitled, The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, And The Slow.

Eastwood who is 78, will portray the Slow part. He told ABC's Barbara Walter's that he will also direct the film.

He then smiled and added somewhat boastfully, that he will also be doing all of his own stunts, except for the one in the scene where he kisses the tremendously overweight dance hall girl on her xiphoid process.

In the old version Eastwood played the Good, Lee Van Cleef played the Bad, and Eli Wallach played the Ugly.

In the 2009 sequel, Kevin James will portray the Good, Snoop Dogg will portray the Bad, Amy Winehouse will portray the Ugly, and Eastwood will portray the Slow.

The movie will be filmed on location in Missoula, Montana. It takes place during the final days of the American Civil War.

In the sequel, the Good arrests the Bad for making counterfeit Confederate 20 dollar bills, which he gives to the Ugly so that she can get her nose, teeth, ears, hair, knees, arm pits, lips, and cervix fixed.

The Bad goes before the circuit judge, the Slow and ends up having the case throw out because the counterfeit Confederate money which belonged to the Bad as it turns out is not really counterfeit afterall.

The film will be rated R for vulgar language, lascivious sex, quintessential violence, risque roping, suggestive suggesting, intense butter churning, offensive cattle driving, excessive gang-banging of the Ugly, and obligatory harmonica playing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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