Written by Morgan Truce
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Sunday, 20 June 2004

image for "Osama Bin Laden Is My Son!"
Rasputin: "Osama Bin Laden Is My Son!"

ST PETERSBURG. Workers excavating a basement in the old city came across an old photo album that has left local historians astonished. "It appears that we have found pictures of the infamous Rasputin, many of which have notes and interesting stories written on them."

Spoof reporter, Morgan Truce, was allowed to examine one of the photographs of the Russian mystic: "I compared the handwriting on the back of this photo and it matches the known writings of Rasputin. He tells of his seduction and hideous abuse of Anya Vyrubova over the course of many years. He described several of the children that resulted from their torrid affair. The first was a girl named Klara Polzl (who later had a son, Adolf). The second was a son named Charles Manson. Another son was name Osama Bin Laden."

In America, Charles Manson was asked about his family: "Yeah, Rasputin was my father and Osama Bin Laden is my brother... but my sister turned out the best of us!"

President George W. Bush said, "I have several questions for Mr. Bin Laden when we catch him. I've never met this Rasputin, but I hear he's a nice fellow. Charlie Manson is a Democrat I think."

In London, Prime Minister Tony Blair asked that Bin Laden, Manson, and Rasputin be invited over for tea.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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