Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: George W. Bush

Sunday, 22 February 2009

image for George Bush Hired As A Hardware Store Greeter
President George "The Hardware Store Greeter" Bush setting up a direct deposit account

DALLAS - President George W. Bush has just been hired by Buck & Huck's Hardware Store in Dallas to be the store's official greeter.

Bush will work a 40-hour week and make $9.50 an hour. Store co-owner Buck Bottomgarden said that Bush will not have to buy his greeting apron like previous greeters had to do.

And he said that Bush will also receive a 10 percent discount on anything that he buys in the store except for nails.

Bush who recently had to sell his Crawford, Texas ranch, The Lazy Bar B Arrogant Longhorn Ranch because of the enonomic crisis said that he and Laura have since moved into a double-wide trailer located at The Rattlesnake Nest Trailer Park in North Dallas.

Huck Bottomgarden was asked how their new employee did after his first day on the job and he replied that the youngster seemed to do okay. He was cordial, informative, and he only offended three people.

Buck added that George like all of their employees will be on a 90-day probationary period. And if everything goes okay after the 90 days he will receive a 25 cent an hour raise and his store discount will go up to 15 percent.

When Bush was asked how his first day went he replied, "Well it went good, real good. Except for that one son-of-a-bitch who asked me where we kept our weapons of mass destruction."

Bush grinned that patented grin of his and said, "But shit, it ain't like I've never heard that damn line before."

When he was asked if he could get by on $380 a week, he smiled, winked, and whispered that when the bosses weren't looking he was charging customers $3 for each autograph.

In other news. Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has applied for an assistant manager's position at a Birmingham, Alabama KFC.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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