Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: octuplets

Sunday, 22 February 2009

image for "OctuMom" Admits She Has Never Had Sex
"OctuMom" looking good after having just had octuplets a month ago

BELLFLOWER, California - The 33-year-old mother of octuplets and six other children has admitted to Katie Couric that she has never had sex.

In an exclusive interview mom said that yes, she is technically a virgin, since all of her 14 children were born from in vitro fertilisation.

She even showed Katie a notorized document from her gynecologist, Dr. Trevor F. Vanderpool that clearly states that her hymen is still in mint condition.

The document goes on to state that if you were to put it in automobile terms, the vehicle is still on the showroom floor.

So as unbelievable as it may seem, when and if she ever decides to marry, she will be one of the few brides in the history of wedding brides who will actually be able to wear a white wedding gown and not have that "now just who the heck do I think I'm fooling" thought in the back of her mind.

When Katie asked her if by any chance she was Greek, she turned red, took a drink from her pomegranate Margarita and said that she wasn't.

She then told her that she knew where she was going with her line of questioning and that the answer was a definite "No!"

Then Katie asked her if by any chance she had a history of kinkiness. And she became defensive and answered, "No, but I heard from Paris Hilton that you do."

Katie turned pink and said not to believe what Paris Hilton says because she is nothing but a jealous, worn out, left coast drama queen/diva who has about as much talent as a Lincoln log.

She was asked if it was true that she had great admiration for Angelina Jolie. And she replied that she was a big fan of Angie's.

She then said that she had received a very nice email from her and Brad saying that they would someday like to babysit all of her 14 kids.

And then she smiled and remarked that the Bradster and Angie had sent her 200 coupons for $2 off on boxes of Pampers Diapers, plus an autographed photo signed by both, and a check for $75,000.

In a related story, mom did confirm that she has in fact been signed by the Fox Network to appear in her very own reality show entitled, "I've Got 14 Kids, Who Wants To Be Their Daddy?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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