Written by IainB
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Topics: Theft, Stupid

Saturday, 21 February 2009

image for Rob a house - but lose a car
Vince or Mike, difficult to know which

After the news broke about a robery victim stealing the thieves getaway car, one intrepid reporter attempted what the police could not do, and track down the thieves themselves.

They were located in a seedy bar in down-town Bellevue, Washington State, called the Muggers and Robbers Irish Theme Pub. Identified through their lack of a designated driver it was not difficult to get them talking about the events of the night before.

"We was, like, robbing this house in the burbs," said the taller of the pair, who liked to be called Vince despite being called Mike. "There was loads of good gear in it, a plasma, a state of the art DVD recorder and a kid's tricycle - I wanted that for my niece. I said to Mike here: 'Pull the van on the drive and we'll load it up', but the dozy S.O.B. left it running."

"I fort it'd let us make a quick getaway," said Mike, whose real name is Vince. "Y'know, chuck de stuff in de back 'n' go. When we got out, dough, dere was nuffin but tyre marks on de drive."

"I told Mike we'd better scarper," said Vince.

"I fort dat'd be a good idea, what wiv de sirens cummin' down de street, an'all," explained Mike.

When asked if they had both learned an important lesson, they were in agreement.

"Never leave the engine running," said Vince.

"Yer cudn't giz us ten bucks for a cab home, cud yer?" added Mike.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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