Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: North Korea, Iceland

Saturday, 21 February 2009

image for North Korea Is Ready For War - And Here Comes Iceland
Icelandic soldiers, members of the famed 87th Fighting Blizzard Boys

PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea has boldly boasted that it is ready for war. Iceland with an Army of slightly over 900 soldiers, replies that it is on it's way to kick North Korea's ass.

A high-ranking Icelandic official said, "We will conquer the damn mofoing North Korean infidels and we will rename North Korea, New Iceland and make it our "Winter Home.'"

The commander of the Icelandic Army, General Turfir "Polar Bear Balls" Ragnarsson told an embedded reporter for The Reykjavich Tundra Times that when his 'guys' get through with Kim Jong il's 'boys' the Korean fellas will all be singing Nordic songs.

Iceland's Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir stated that the reason that she decided to invade North Korea was due to the economic turmoil that Iceland finds itself in.

She added that the currency devaluation along with the stock market collapse also played a part in her decision to invade North Korea and capture the outrageous amounts of money that they possess.

The prime minister stated that North Korea has more banks than it does chopstick shops.

She smiled as she glanced through the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated and said that hopefully if all goes as planned all of the money in the banks of North Korea will soon all be in the banks of Iceland.

When told that the North Korean Army is well-trained and numbers well over a million soldiers, the prime minister shrugged her shoulders and said, "Fine, but our lads are tough.

They have been trained to survive in minus 30 degree weather wearing only their army issued boxer shorts and a baseball cap.

Our soldiers can exist for two weeks eating nothing but snow, ice, frozen beetles, and sleet. And besides, our troops have an advantage in that they are all fluent in North Korean."

Unnamed sources revealed that the Icelandic Army is being transported to North Korea on the Mexican battleship, The MS Montezuma's Revenge.

Mexico and Iceland have great diplomatic relations and last year signed their multi-million dollar Ice for Tequila Trade Pact. Mexico has experienced an ice shortage as of late and they badly need the Icelandic ice to make raspas (sno-cones).

When North Korea's Kim Jong il was told that Iceland was on its way to invade his country, he got a puzzled look on his face and said, "Iceland? Who the hell is Iceland?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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