US President Barack Obama was today replaced by a pointing finger.
Speaking at a press conference in Washington DC, the finger said: 'As Mr Obama was doing nothing else except pointing and smiling, and sometimes waving, it was felt that a finger might as well be President. And so the world can look forward to nearly four years of me pointing towards cameras, but never saying anything about anything, and it will sure save the American taxpayer millons of dollars as well!'
But some weren't too happy about the decision, and one smile in Illinois said: 'This sounds like discrimination against smiles to me, if not downright smilism', and a wave added 'What about the waving? This has set back equal rights for waves and smiles fifty years, this is typical pro-finger bias. We call for the finger to be impeached!'
Mr Obama himself had this to say about being replaced. 'We have to boldly split the infinitive in a modern forward-looking approach, one that, while not actually being meaningless drivel, is sure - and we can no longer ignore this fact - so tortuous and subclausy that you would need, in effect, a degree in linguistics to find out whether this person has, or has not, in the scheme of things really said anything of value.'
And when asked if a pointing finger could be as useful an American President as he had been, he replied: 'It's not about fingers, it's not about hands, it's not about teeth. We have come this far, we have boldly beamed and waved and pointed, we are not going to stop now, Scotty, our dreams will, as Captain James T Kirk once said, reach for the stars, the bars, the stripes and the cars, and now we can say - yes we are!'
The finger was tapping the counter impatiently, wishing Mr Obama would stop speaking so it could get on and run the USA, and do lots of pointing at press conferences.