Savoring his first big victory in Congress, President Barack Obama on Saturday celebrated the newly passed $787 billion economic stimulus brick as a "major milestone on our road to recovery."
"Of course, this thing is 2097 pages long but I'm sure it's all good stuff."
"To those who have pointed out the bailout of the layoffs of hundreds of prostitutes in Vegas or the 'Save The Horny Toad" provision, no brick this size has ever passed before. There are still a few things to work out later, beginning on page 19."
Speaking in his weekly radio and Internet address, Obama said, "I will sign this legislation into law shortly, and we'll begin making the immediate investments necessary to put people back to work doing the work America needs done, beginning with 50 lawyers to explain this 2097 page bill."
At the same time, he cautioned, "This historic shlep..step.. won't be the end of what we do to turn our economy around, but rather the beginning. The problems that led us into this crisis are deep and widespread, and our response must be equal to the task. We already have another committee working with those of the encyclopedia people to prepare the next one, a 10,207 pager but this time with pictures!"
The bill passed Congress on Friday on party-line votes, allowing Democratic leaders to deliver on their promise of clearing the legislation by mid-February. Obama could sign the measure as early as Monday.