Written by Roy Turse

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Saturday, 14 February 2009

image for Steven Seagal Injured in Guitar Hero Accident
is this the fret of injury?

Action movie star Steven Seagal was admitted to hospital last week after suffering a sprained testicle while playing the popular Guitar Hero game on the Xbox 360.

Seagal is claimed to have been attempting the elusive 'Double Whammy-Bar Deflect with Splits and Air Hump' while playing Jordan by Buckethead on Expert setting.

Whilst Seagal is best known for his film roles, he is also an accomplished guitarist and has made several albums. As a professional musician, it seems unlikely he injured himself by incorrect technique or misuse of the instrument.

When Seagal(57) was first admitted to hospital, doctors were not convinced that the testicle could be saved. But it turned out that rather than being fractured it was actually just a bad sprain. In a hospital statement last night, Seagal was said to be in 'considerable discomfort'.

The 6' 4" Aikido expert, who has starred in over 30 videos, also works as a Deputy Sheriff in his home town, and is a tireless campaigner for animal rights. The Buddhist actor dyes his hair a strange inky black colour and has an almost cubic head. His favourite colour is blue.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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