With the Senate finally approving Barak Obama's $787billion stimulus package for the economy, a little-read sub-section in small print on page 492 has come to light.
$8000 of the money is to be used to "stimulate" the testicles of Bank executives with huge electric shocks.
Obama has a list of 1,000 executives whose actions "led to the near-collapse of the U.S. economy", and all will be required to attend the notorious Sing-Sing Correctional Facility near New York on a daily basis to have 400 volts of juice sent into their testicles via small clamps. They will each have to have at least 10 visits, but those who repay their last 3 years' bonus and sign away any right to bonuses in the next 5 years will walk free. Any who refuse to co-operate will be kept in the prison's "violent homosexual rapist" wing for an altogether different "stimulus package", until they agree to the terms.
Obama himself is keen on the move, as it is very cheap and uses the electric chair facility which is "sadly under-used".