President George Bush today signed legislation that not only addresses the job losses during his administration, but also the shortage of manpower in the war in Iraq.
"The democrats have misunderestimated me" said Bush, "by the stork of my pen, i provide a a clear soluble to issues the democrats have been subliminably issuing" announced Bush to a perplexed crowd of reporters.
" It is my intimation mis reduce 100k jobs, in fact Army and military recruiting offices are now open so anyone can apply for these jobs. It is open to all except non practicing christians, wahabbi muslims, gays and democrats"
"This should put to rest any doubts on my ability to raise jobs, to fix outsoucing, and to address the shortage in the military"
"By making these jobs available in Iraq, i terminable 3 problems" said Bush.
"Now the democrats will have to run on a different ticket since i already solved the key issues they raised" says Bush
In a related move, the president appointed a new commision looking into allegations that 7-11 stores are a terrorist front organizations. The 7-11 commission "..will investigate with extreme prejudice Middle Eastern Owned Convenience Stores" announced Bush.