Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 10 February 2009

image for Ellen DeGeneres And Her Wife To Adopt Octuplets
One of the Octuplets (Baby "H")

BEVERLY HILLS, California - In a surprising move, talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, 51, has announced that she and Mrs. DeGeneres, aka Portia de Rossi, 36, are adopting the famous octuplets.

Ellen recently met the octuplets' mother at a local Subway Restaurant and worked out an agreement whereby she and her wife would legally adopt all eight babies.

The talk show host said that in order for everything to be perfectly legal that she and Portia would be paying the sum of $1.2 million.

But Ellen stressed that the $1.2 million was not a payment for the eight babies but was instead a donation to help pay for all of the doctor and hospital medical bills which amounted to $1.1 million.

The mother told a reporter for Multiple Births Illustrated Monthly that she decided that it would be better if the octuplets lived with Ellen and Portia.

She said, "I already have six children between the ages of 2 and 7. So it would be very hard for me to raise eight more all by myself, since I do not have a husband."

She added that this way the babies would be able to drink regular milk instead of goat's milk from the family's pet goat Dolly Parton, Jr.

The mother has announced that she is already pregnant again. She said she has received over 200 calls, emails, and text messages from couples and individuals who want to adopt her next babies.

Four of the calls were from Marie Osmond, Ann Coulter, Cloris Leachman, and Mr. and Mrs. Rosie O'Donnell.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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