The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has learned, that a known terrorist Al Zarqawi is in the United States. They have released this information in a nicely decorated and scented press conference room in Quantico, VA.
They have said that he is wearing a fat-suit and is posing as "Michael Moore" (whoever the hell that is). He is considered heavy, unarmed yet dangerous around Happy Meals. If you happen to see this person, do not try to apprehend him yourself. Call your local GEST, I mean CIA office or your local police department (PD).
The Republican Party is trying heavily, around the clock, to stop him from unleashing his weapon of mass destruction (or as he might call it Fahrenheit 9/11) upon the American citizens. Sieg heil the Republicans for saving our youth.