Written by Bureau
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Topics: Sex

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

image for Married Couple Use "Dying Raccoon" Position
Couple Purchse By The Gross

In January, a North Carolina couple were given sanctions by a local city council because their loud, long sex sessions disturbed neighbors on two different floors of their apartment building.

Robert and Annabelle Bratsky were issued a noise abatement order by the Anderson City Council.

Annabelle told the city council that "I do admit I scream and grunt as I squirm and make lots of noise. I just can't help myself!"

The couple had moved there from South Carolina so local policeman Jerry Lewkins looked it up and sure enough, the same couple had been fined in Charlston and Prove City where they appeared before a council for violating a previous sex-noise order when a neighbor complained and said their headboard banged against the wall until 7 a.m.

Also in August, 2004, a neighbor of the same couple in Des Moines, Wash., told a Seattle Times reporter that their cries of ecstasy from the house sometimes sound "like a raccoon dying."

"That's exactly what we call it", Mrs. Bratsky agreed. "It's our "Dying Raccoon" style! Invented it ourselves. It's a variation on the Rabbit Hop!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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