Written by Chuck Barber
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Friday, 18 June 2004

When she first burst on the pop music scene Britney Spears was a young, relatively talented, relatively flat-chested girl. Within a year or so as her career took off, so did the size of her chest. Or perhaps more accurately, as her breasts grew, so too did her following.

At the time there was great debate over whether nature enhanced Ms. Spears' figure or whether science did the trick for her. Britney and her mother always denied that she had any sort of augmentation surgery. However, others pointed out that few girls naturally change from a 32A to a 38D over the course of a long weekend.

For years now the argument has raged as Britney, in an effort to broaden her appeal, has worn less and less.

Now, finally, apparently admitting that the "maturation' of her breasts enhanced her career, Spears has taken the next logical step - she is adding a third breast.

"It's just natural, really," manager Elroy Ladourette said. "No one ever denied that growing up helped her career. This ought to increase her audience by 50%."

The third breast will be placed in the middle of her stomach and initially she will not wear a brassiere to cover it. "This is her stomach. Why do you have to cover your stomach? No one else does," Ladourette asked.

The breast will be formed by a silicon implant and grafted darker anal skin will be used to create the aureole. The silicon implant will come complete with an automatic pop-up nipple feature. "You'll know if Britney's excited just by looking," Ladourette enthused.

Others in her camp expect her audience to be even more excited by events. "Imagine, Britney's Spears breast available for all to see! It's a miracle," said fan club president, Herman Boever. "It's a miracle!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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