AP, Cleveland, Ohio, June 18, 2004. Vin Diesel, the 2004 U.S. Vice Presidential Candidate on both the Democratic and Republican tickets has agreed to debate himself, reports the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD). As reported earlier in The Spoof, Vin Diesel, in an unprecedented move has accepted the Vice Presidential nomination for the 2004 U.S. election from both Republican Presidential candidate George Bush and Democratic candidate John Kerry.
The Vice Presidential debate is scheduled to take place on Tuesday, October 5, 2004 at Case Western Reserve University located in Cleveland, Ohio.
Diesel will be seated at a table with the moderator, Tim Russert of Meet the Press, MSNBC, CNBC, TGIF, ASAP, SWAK and other famously syndicated shows. Russert is the only press member considered intelligent enough to comprehend the fact that Diesel is the Republican and Democratic VP candidate. The format of the debate is expected to get complicated since Diesel will simultaneously be criticizing and supporting both Presidential candidates and platforms.
Russert will be charged with ensuring that neither Diesel candidate dominates the debate and that he has equal time. All topics are fair play in this debate including domestic, foreign, theatrical, and intergalactic policies.
Coverage of the debates will be provided by members of the White House press pool, who are not scheduled for their synchronized swimming lessons at that time.