Written by Dave Foreman
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Topics: Snow, Arkansas

Monday, 11 February 2002

image for Five Lost In Arkansas Blizzard
View of Little Root

Almost half an inch of snow fell on Little Root, Arkansas this week. This unseasonable storm resulted in severe hardship in the area and has baffled meteorologists and banjo players alike.

The telephone line was down for several hours and the electrical outlet for the area was not functioning. At last report, a power line was being run from the State Capital, to service the area. Work on the project commenced immediately and should be finished sometime in July.

So far 25 extension cords have been strung together and only 180,000 more are required.

To care for the injured the hospital and crafts store remained open for an extra three and a half hours Wednesday and citizens flocked to an impromptu blood donor clinic in the back of Jethro's Auto Body Shop.

Arley's book store loaned their magazine to the clinic so that if any of the donors were able, they would have something to read.

But perhaps the greatest loss was suffered by Billy Bob Ramalam who dropped a five dollar bill in a snow drift. A search party was quickly organized and, convening in Harper's Bar, managed to consume six cases of J. W. Dant's Sourmash Bourbon. They then decided to wait until spring to resume the search for the missing five.

Riata La Crawfish, long time area resident when asked about the storm, quipped, "Yeah, that thar blizzard sure was fulla snow. Windier than hey-ull too." Some people think Riata is a witch.

Louis Faultygenes, the local snow plow operator had the defining comment, when he said without batting a horsefly, "The dranks are on me next tahm."

Billy Bob who moonlights as a stand-up comic, when interviewed by reporters said simply, "Shee-it." That got the whole town laughing.

That Billy Bob. What a riot.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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