WASHINGTON-- President Bush and Donald Rumsfeld announced in a press conference today that they had finally obtained proof that Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden had ties.
Bush, while addressing the press, produced the two ties for astonished onlookers. "I've said all along that Saddam and Osama had ties, and here they are! " Said Bush, " We must now show the world that we are united, and that this kind a treachery will not be tolerated."
Rumsfeld said that the discovery was inevitable, but by no means a sign that the American people can rest easy. "We also have information that the two may have hats. We have some scattered reports that there may be jackets and coffee mugs as well."
The President and Mr. Rumsfeld left as several confused and astonished reporters scratched their heads. Top analysts say that Bush may have gotten the idea for the press conference after meeting with former President Bill Clinton this past week.
"I really think the president went a little too far with Clinton's 'Technically True' trick." Said a White House insider speaking on the condition of anonymity.