Written by freezer101
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Thursday, 5 February 2009

image for Suicide becomes politically correct
Iva Frickin' Haddit, contemplates jumping to his death

Religious leaders, politicians, representatives of the mental health field, and candidates for suicide across the U.S. gathered this week to discuss the finer points, and techniques of suicide at a convention held in Detroit, Michigan.

Those at the forefront of suicide research and development decided it was high-time to remove the stigma attached to the act, or acts, depending on however many times the person has attempted it. As of this meeting of great, and least minds, a moratorium has been lifted on the act of suicide for all interested idio, I mean citizens.

With the economy burgeoning, nuclear familiesfaltering, exotic gangs immigrating here from El Salvador, Jap's taking over the automobile industry, coupled with lack of faith in government, until recently anyway, it was felt that allowing suicide was the wisest choice. This would allow disgruntled citizens from all three social classes to express themselves in the strongest possible way, and at the same time, send a suicide note, I mean message, to others that they have had it up to here. (Raise hand to neck level, or higher if you are contemplating suicide).

Attending the convention was acting suicide director, Iva Frickin' Haddit, who told us he has been waiting for the day when he could murder himself without prejudice and repercussions from his insurance company. Asked why he wanted to commit suicide, Haddit pointed out, "Dude, look around you."

With just a few loose ends to tie up, like removing suicide and its symptoms from psychology's DSM-IV manual, (Diagnostic and Statistic Manual), used by the mental health profession, the path is clear for suicide to catch up to the 21st century, and reflect the needs of an ever-changing society.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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