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Topics: Breasts

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

image for Woman Sets Breast Record, 38KKK
"Little Chigger Bites"

A woman underwent nine breast-implant surgeries, even leaving the country, to set the world record for the largest bust.

People...well..men.. were already fairly impressed last April, when they heard that one Sheyla Hershey traveled to Houston for a boob job. And not just any boob job: A bob bob bobbin' boob enhancement bound for the record books. Because after eight surgeries and a full gallon of silicone, the petite model/actress was a staggering 34 FFF.

Still, Hershey wanted more! And she was determined to get it. When her boyfriend begged her to stop, she broke up with him.

"I just couldn't reach her anymore", he told a friend. "These things had come between us."

But Hershey was forced to settle with her FFF little chigger bites because "the state of Texas has limits on the amount of silicone that can be injected into breast implants," noted ABC News.

"Reading this, we found ourselves impressed by Texas, because we didn't think it was the kind of state to impose limits on such things, what with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and the state priding itself on everything being bigger there."

But, as Hershey discovered through diligent research, they have no such restraint in Brazil! And so now, after a ninth surgery, she's the proud owner of both a 38KKK bust and the world record for largest breasts.

Reportedly, the bra-zillion docs had to also put some lead in the rear so she could stand upright.

"Oh I don't think I'd lack for volunteers to catch me", a friend said she told her when she asked how she kept her balance.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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