Written by rfreed
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Monday, 2 February 2009

image for Ghost Of Nixon Tries To Possess Blagojevich - Exorcism Needed
Nixon Tried to Possess Elvis Too, But He Wasn't Cool Enough To Pull It Off

It was a horrendous scene on stage at the Oprah show. Disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich had just been introduced to the audience when suddenly his eyes were filled with a strange, luminously evil, inhuman look and he started speaking with a strange, disembodied voice.

"Let go, Rod, let go! I am taking over your body now! I need to fulfill my destiny!"

"What?! What is going on here?" Oprah was terrified at the sudden change in her guest. His face turned white and ghoul-like. His body started to hover above the couch.

Blagojevich's mouth moved, but the voice that came out seemed from somewhere else. "I am the spirit of Richard Milhouse Nixon! I have returned. I cannot find rest in that place to where I have been sent. I need a politician's body to use as my vehicle on this earth where I still have work to do. I have been trying to take over this body for years."

"No, no! You can't have me!" Blagojevich's spirit was putting up a fight. "This is my body, my career!"

"But I will have it!" Nixon's voice chimed back in. "I had possession of Cheney's for eight years and now he is ousted! I must have another!"

Then his head started to spin around.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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