LONDON, England - Londoners are experiencing the heaviest snowstorm in 18 years. The record snowfall has caused Heathrow Airport to be shut down.
Even Amy Winehouse's bee-hive hairdo is completely covered with the white stuff (snow). One of her neighbors, a Mrs. Neville Sugarwell, said that Amy's hair looks like she has a big white poodle sitting on her head.
The city's busses are not running. And Mayor Boris Johnson has said that he talked to the mayor of Keflavik, Iceland and Iceland will be shipping 50 snowplows to London immediately.
Merchants report that ice cream sales have fallen off by 400 percent. The London Zoo reports that its two polar bears, Elton and John have never been happier.
Zookeeper Myron Muncie said that he has a gift of being able to communicate with the polar bears and he said that Elton told him this morning, "Hey Muncie, Johnny and I love this weather. The hell with the North Pole!"
Representatives from The Alaskan Dog Sled Racing Federation have been in contact with the city about the possibility of transferring 'The 2009 Alaskan Dog Sledding Championship' to London.
Susannah Montague, director of the ADSRF said, "We really and truly feel that London would be a much more appropriate place to hold our upcoming event than Anchorage.
For one, London is much colder. It has much more snow. You don't have wayward moose and caribou traipseing all over the place.
And also, you have a wider variety of foods and London is home to some of the best rock bands in the world."
Ms. Montague's offer to pay the city of London $1.3 million dollars (US) or 911,170 pounds (GBP) for allowing them the right to hold 'The 2009 Alaskan Dog Sledding Championship' in London has been accepted.
In related news. The London Metropolitan Police Service has vowed to crack down on those individuals who insist on making pornographic snowmen.