Written by freezer101
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Saturday, 31 January 2009

image for DPW worker busts porn ping at Obama's inauguration
Suspicious female at inauguration

Washington, D.C.-(AP) D.C. Police today uncovered a pornographic ring that duped hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting females at the inauguration ceremonies of President Barack Obama.

In all the excitement, no one noticed activity of the porn ring except for Department of Public Works employee, Iam A. Ratt, who was cleaing up litter around the area. In an exclusive interview, Mr. Ratt told us that when he went to pick up an empty bag, and soda can near a bush, he noticed that something just didn't look right. Upon closer inspection, Ratt said he saw what he thought was a miniature remote camera. Wondering if this was some kind of FBI, or Secret Service surveillance camera, he notifed Capitol police. When police determined that the camera was not set up by the government or any other police agency, they suspected fowl play.

Not wanting to cause a panic because of the 2 million people attending the inauguration ceremonies at the time, police waited until everyone was gone until they could nab whoever came back to retrieve the cameras. They didn't have to wait long.

Two hours after everyone had left the area, a person was seen approaching the micro digital video camera. When police were sure he had it, they swooped down on him like a pack of republicans on a pork barrel spending package. Taken into custody, the suspect was more than willing to rat on everyone, including his mother, father, sister, 2 uncles, 3 aunts, neighbors, and some he didn't even know.

The suspect, 35 year old Mas Tur Bator, an Albanian refugee here on an Al Queda college scholarship, planted 537 of the micro video cameras around the inauguration grounds that were positioned to point upward toward the sky. Some were set in large cracks in the sidewalks, while others were placed flush with the ground on grassy areas. Still others were placed on the tips of walking canes while its owners cruised the area for unsuspecting victims.

D.C. Police, FBI, CIA and the Secret Service were stunned by the magnitude of the operation. Several officials remarked that, "No wonder there are so many pornographic websites devoted to "Upskirt" photos.

Authorities believe they have busted one of the largest operations of its kind in history. Asked what they planned on doing with all the videos and photos taken from the inauguration event, FBI spokesperson, Pea King Tom stated that they would have to look at each and every video and photo several times to develop a time line and get a feel for the work.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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