The ghost of President Abraham Lincoln appeared to scandalized Illinois Governor Blagojeovich last night. At about midnight, as Blagojeovich was busy counting dirty money he had hidden in his mattress, the apparition of a tall, lanky, bearded individual appeared in his room and stared intently at him.
"Sir!" the spector says sharply, "You have sullied the politics of my home state beyond the tolerance of my patience!"
Blagojeovich shudders, still clutching wads of 100's in his chunky fists. "Are you....Lincoln?!!" asked the weasel in a voice reminiscent of Joe Pesci.
"That I am. I cannot rest peacefully in my grave while connivers such as you rape the state I fought so hard to build up." Using his 150 year old wrestling skills, Lincoln grabs Blagojevich's arm and throws him to the ground. "I have watched from my viewpoint in Heaven as rascals such as you have taken advantage of this fair land. I have seen the Daly's, the mafias, the labor unions, Elwood J. Blues, the military-industrial complex, the pre-2000 White Sox and others bring it to a level of whoredom. For this, I will no longer be a peaceful man!"
Lincoln then cranks a left into Blagojeviches face that will make it hard for him to shave for the rest of his life.